Falling in Love & Grieving Your Way Out of Love
I love you so fucking much. My heart is full this rainy morning.
I wrote that five minutes ago and now my heart hurts. That always happens. I feel totally content and in love with you, and then I get pulled into some grief.
Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have had this time of growing new love with you without grief and loss being so closely tethered. I guess it’s just part of our story — no point in questioning it.
I do know there are lots of beautiful things I learned very early on about your heart and your mind based on how you responded to my own pain and grief.
I suppose you could say the same of me — watching a person grieve a lost love gives a very personal and intimate view of their inner landscape.
It is what it is. We came together at just the right time. We needed each other, and so we found each other. But sometimes the heaviness feels too much next to the lightness you bring into my life.
Sometimes I just want one strong wind lifting me off the cliffside, a singular force with a beginning and end rather than a continuous cycle of contrary kinetic emotions. I’m so tired, and I just woke up.
